


stars

by rivalous



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: First Kiss, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, Road Trip, Stargazing, Stars, i think it's light angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 06:46:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16192262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivalous/pseuds/rivalous
Summary: fangs look at kevin in the same way kevin looks at the stars.





	stars

**Author's Note:**

> sort of based off my own feelings. also posted this on the riverdale amino in the same title. i hope you enjoy reading this!

 

and so they camp under the stars, in an open field with a splatter of trees standing around them. kevin insisted that they do so, convincing fangs to drive off the road and into a gravel covered pathway that leads to someplace else. fangs didn't mind, though. it’s better to be sleeping out here than to be stuck in a dirty motel they’d find along the way. but that doesn't mean that fangs wasn't confused. he asked kevin, “why here of all places?” in the car as the tires crunched the gravel beneath it. kevin only shrugged and said one thing:

“i want to see the stars.”

it was a simple answer, but fangs nodded silently as they pulled up by the field. they don't know where they are, but kevin seems happy, so fangs is happy, too.

now they're lying comfortably on the ground, with the grass pushed away from their bodies as they both look up to the night sky. ashes fly up to the air as the embers from the dying bonfire in front of them flickered a sharp orange. there’s a light breeze blowing south, and the air is nice and cool. their tents are already set up behind them and the car was parked nearby, but the two boys pay no attention to their surroundings.

it’s late at night. a canopy of stars envelopes the inky black sky, twinkling before them. there’s a mix of purple and blue and pink among the clusters, the colours slowly fading into black around its edges. it’s a moonless and cloudless night, which is ideal for stargazing. there are no distractions around them. they came during the right time.

it’s a beautiful sight. it’s a shame that they could never see this side of the night in riverdale. “too much light pollution,” kevin informed him earlier. “too much lights are on during the night, and it clouds the sky. that’s what makes it hard to see the stars.”

and fangs just nodded along, humming softly.

they both say nothing, just enjoying each other's company underneath the explosion of stars. kevin has his entire attention towards the stars above them. his eyes flicks across each star, savoring the view and appreciating its beauty. he wears a small smile on his face as he does so, restlessly bouncing his right leg. he sighs contently, placing his hands on his abdomen as he continues to gaze at the sky with awe.

fangs, on the other hand, stares aimlessly at the sky, dragging his sight across the stars, paying no mind to them. blades of grass tickled his neck, and he unconsciously pushes them away. he’s got to admit, he was skeptical at first. camping outside without any protection and out of civilization just to look at some stars? it's not really something he would do. but he’s willing to step out of his comfort zone for kevin, and he’s glad that he did because the night sky is the prettiest thing he has ever seen.

well, second prettiest.

kevin is positively glowing at the moment. the starlight illuminates the angle of his jaw, with shadows pooling beneath his cheekbones, and the light really brings out his eyes. fangs never really sees him without gel on his hair, but now he takes a moment to appreciate his hair while it’s still on its natural state. but despite all of that, the little smile on his face is what really caught fangs’ attention. he wants kevin to smile at him like that, with contained happiness and silent adoration. and the way he looks at the stars? with joy and fascination that’s pretty much visible in his eyes? that they twinkle as the stars shine on the surface of his face?

if only kevin looks at fangs the same way he looks at the stars.

like they are amazed, starstruck and spellbound. fascinated by their presence; has their full attention. captures their interest and makes their day feel a little brighter. makes them smile as they gaze at you lovingly. that seeing them in the room just lights up the entire place. they make you feel giddy, they make you feel happy.

god, if only kevin looks at fangs the same way fangs looks at kevin.

honestly, fangs doesn’t know what’s so special about kevin. kevin is just a normal kid who happens to catch his attention. maybe it’s his eyes, a bright green hue that reminds fangs of an emerald being shone through a light, or the fact that he could easily get lost in them for no reason. maybe it’s his wits, how he could solve any problem with a simple solution, or how words easily roll off of his tongue. maybe it’s how he admires the stars, or how his hair fall gently against his forehead.

maybe it's the little things about him, like the way his eyebrows scrunch together whenever he focuses on his homework, or how he rests his hands on the steering wheel. maybe it’s the small scar from his childhood that hides on his left palm, or how he hums softly to himself along the radio. maybe it’s the way he speaks, with confidence and with purpose, or the way his voice sounded when he sang during the musical.

fangs thinks about that time where they were just laying next to each other at the edge of kevin’s tiny ass twin bed, looking up at his ceiling during one, cloudy night. their legs dangled off the side with fangs’ hands resting on his abdomen while kevin had his behind his head. they were just talking about whatever, about each other's lives, playing twenty one questions. then it lead to kevin asking if he would like to go on a road trip with just the two of them, and fangs said yes, even though he didn't understand why a road trip all of the sudden. after all, they only began to really talk to each other a few months ago, so they’re not really close, if fangs was being honest.

maybe it had something to do with the fucking glow-in-the-dark stars kevin has sticking up on his ceiling.

it’s seriously the most childish and ridiculous thing fangs has ever seem, but he softened when he guesses that kevin refused to let the remaining bit of his innocence go.

“is there something wrong?”

fangs snaps out of his thoughts and tilts his head towards kevin, who looks at him with concern. he shoots him a brief smile. “no,” he mumbles, and he turns his head away. the stars glimmers. “just thinking, that’s all.”

kevin hums in response. “do you want to talk about it?”

he sounds worried, but fangs simply shakes his head. “it’s nothing, kevin.”

they say nothing after that. the cool breeze flows past them, and the silence is calming. the embers has died out long ago, leaving nothing but a pile of burnt wood and soil. then kevin says, “i know we aren’t close, but you can talk to me.”

 _trust me,_ fangs thinks, _if i could tell you anything, i’d talk about the things i love about you. but i can’t. you’d find me ridiculous._

_just like my opinion about the stars on your ceiling._

but fangs doesn’t say that. instead, he says a simple “i know” and drops the subject. kevin nods and doesn’t push it, but the little voice inside fangs’ head wishes that he did.

they don’t know what time it is. a shadow of a bird flies across the painted sky and away from their sight. the trees rustle around them, and fangs could hear a cricket somewhere around him. he huffs out a breath and speaks.

“actually, i want to know why we’re here,” he says, curious. “like, why go on a road trip all of the sudden?”

“i wanted a distraction,” kevin answers. “i wanted to be far away from all the chaos riverdale has. i needed to clear my head.”

fangs nodded in understanding. “also, i’m wondering why you brought me along instead of your usual crew.”

kevin falls silent for a moment. at first, fangs wonders if he said something wrong, but he sees kevin shrug. “why not?” he says. “my friends and i already made some memories. i wanted create new ones with you.”

it’s most likely a _platonic_ statement, but fangs’ mind shifted kevin’s tone into something else. he quickly shakes those thoughts away. “well, i’m glad that you brought me along,” fangs says, smiling softly at kevin. “i’ll definitely remember this.”

kevin flashes him a smile, and fangs melts a little on the spot. he turns his head away from kevin quickly.

they fall into comfortable silence, the sound of their breathing fills the air instead. the stars before them twinkles, and the colourful streaks that splashes across the black canvas of the sky reflects brighter than before. “god, i don’t want this to end,” kevin mumbles beside him. “i wish i could stay here forever.”

fangs could hear the wistful tone in kevin’s voice and he sighs. “if you ever had the chance to go here again, would you drop everything and live around here?”

“yeah,” kevin says without hesitation. he shuffles on the spot. “look, i love everyone in riverdale, but i wouldn't want to die there. it’s gotten so chaotic out there that it’s gotten to the point where i wonder if today was going to be my last day.”

“so you'd rather die here?” fangs jokes.

kevin’s voice turns serious. “yes, because then i’ll die happy and in peace.”

“because of the stars?”

“because of the stars.”

this is kevin’s happy place. kevin is happy here. fangs likes seeing kevin happy, so why isn't he happy?

it’s because of the stars.

fangs wishes for the moon to appear, or for the clouds to roll out of their hiding to cover the sky. he wishes for rain that would force them to take cover, or for bugs to start crawling around them. he wishes for something, _anything,_ to happen so that kevin wouldn't look at the sky with the adoration fangs desperately wants from him.

fuck the stars. no wonder he finds kevin’s glow-in-the-dark stars so ridiculous. though, he finds it pretty pathetic to be jealous over flaming balls of gases because the guy he’s in love with is in love with them rather than him.

“hey, if something’s bothering you, we can talk, you know,” kevin says, his voice laced with concern.

“it’s… personal, kevin,” fangs mumbles, licking his lips. “but maybe one day. once i get the courage to say it.”

he glances at kevin and catches him looking at him with something unrecognizable in his eyes. he stands from his spot and starts to walk towards the tents, and kevin sits up, turning to face him. “where are you going?”

“to sleep,” fangs said. he wanted to sleep his thoughts away. “good night, kev.”

kevin doesn't chase after him. “good night, fangs.”

 

\---

 

they end up driving back to riverdale the morning after. it’ll take about two or three days to go back if they drive continuously. the only time they stop is when they need to use the washroom. they alternate on who drives and when; kevin drives in the day while fangs drives through the night; fangs sleeps during the day and kevin sleeps during the night. just like last time.

their little trip lasted longer than they thought it would have. nonetheless, they enjoyed it, and they definitely has gotten to know each other more. fangs wouldn't mind doing it again with _just_ kevin. as much as he loved sweet pea and toni, he wouldn't want to be alone with them for, like, a week, especially if they're away from riverdale. it was nice to have calm person by his side for a change as opposed to his usual serpent crowd.

but as much as they loved the trip, they're really glad to be going home. sleeping in shit motels and eating in small restaurants made them appreciate the finer things in their lives, like the comfort of their own beds and pop’s.

now they're lying comfortably on kevin’s tiny ass twin bed, with the duvet pressed underneath their bodies as they both look up to kevin’s ceiling. this time, they are sort of squished together because they are lying down on the long side of the bed. fangs ignores kevin’ body heat. their bags and coolers sits in the living room downstairs, unpacked and tossed aside carelessly behind the couch. tom keller wasn't home at the moment, so kevin asked fangs if he wanted to sleep over at his place for the night. fangs, of course, said yes.

kevin's room is dark, and the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling doesn't shine its green fluorescent glow. the keller’s home resided somewhere by the woods, secluded and hidden away, so the typical lights of riverdale doesn't hit the house. moonlight takes its place instead, shining through the window and spreading itself across the floor. the windows are closed, muffling any sound from outside, but fangs could hear a car roll past the house. it’s quiet, and fangs likes the quiet.

he hears kevin breathe softly beside him. he turns his head to his right, and sees kevin looking up, trying to keep his eyes open. fangs returns his gaze to the fake stars above, to the stars he finds ridiculous. he never had the luxury of adding his own personal trinkets in his rooms because fangs switched homes frequently.

“what did you think about the trip?” kevin asks, breaking the silence between them.

fangs smiles. “it was fun. i wouldn't mind doing it again,” he says.

“i did too. it was fun.”

“it really was, surprisingly.”

“what’s your opinion on the stars?” kevin mumbles quietly. “you know, the ones we saw at the end.”

before he could stop himself, fangs blurts out, “i didn’t like them.”

the bed creaks as kevin goes quiet, and fangs mentally slaps himself. he wants to take it back, but he couldn't think of anything to say. “i’m sorry,” he says afterwards.

kevin shakes his head. “no, no. i should be the one apologizing,” he says. “i mean, we went off the road because i told you to instead of going to where we were supposed to go. it's a shame you didn't like it, though.”

“kevin, i liked it, it's just,” fangs tries to find the words, “it's just… i can't. i can't explain it. i don't want to explain it.”

“... do you want to talk about it?”

“no.”

they fall into an awkward silence. the atmosphere has shifted, fangs could feel it. it feels a little more thick, it hangs in the air. he regrets saying it out loud, but at least he was honest.

“but enough about me,” he says and turns to face kevin, attempting to switch the subject. “what did _you_ think about the stars?”

kevin smiles a little. “i loved them.”

the tone in his voice makes fangs envy the damn lights even more. “i suspected that.”

“they're just so pretty,” kevin sighs. “i can't describe them. all you gotta do is look up and appreciate them.”

 _that's how i feel every time i look at  you._ “did you take any pictures?”

kevin hums. “no. pictures wouldn’t be able to capture their beauty. it won't do them any justice.”

“is this why you have these stars on your ceiling?” fangs finally asks. “because you really like them?”

“yeah,” kevin answers. “not just the stars, though. i was obsessed with space. i had more space shit than this. i wanted to be an astronaut when i was younger, you know.”

“why?”

“i guess i wanted to relate to all the cool superheroes who came from space, like… captain marvel.”

fangs snickers. “seriously?”

“yeah. i loved comics as well.”

“you don’t need stars to become a superhero, kev. you‘re already one in my eyes.”

kevin smiles at him, his eyes glistening with a barely recognizable shine, and fangs sinks on the bed. “you're sweet, fangs," kevin says, a light blush tinting his cheeks, though fangs doesn't see it. “my obsession died down eventually. i still like space, of course, but i took down a lot of my stuff.”

“except for the stars?”

“except for the stars.”

“how come?”

kevin goes quiet for a moment. “i-i don't know,” he says, then the tone in his voice turns solemn. “i talked to them whenever i felt lonely. i guess i didn't want to get rid of the ones who listened to me when no one else would."

fangs stays silent. kevin continues. “i could just look outside my window and talk to the actual stars, but i usually can't see them. it's always too cloudy, or the lights are too bright, or the moon is out, or it’s raining. so i talked to my little glow-in-the-dark stars instead. these stars knew all of my secrets before my friends did. i came out to these stars first. i spilled others’ secrets to these stars. i told who i liked to these stars. i told them everything.”

“do you still do it?” fangs questions.

“yeah,” kevin says without hesitation. he fidgets with the fabric of the duvet. “it became a tradition for me.”

“does your dad know?”

“god, i hope not,” he says, shuddering. “if he does, then i’m glad that he doesn’t say anything.”

kevin then rests his body on his side, facing fangs and curling his legs. fangs feels his face heat up, but he doesn't break eye contact. “tell me,” kevin mumbles. “why didn't you like the stars?”

fangs looks away. “they remind me of the guy i like,” he finally answers.

kevin smiles. “and that’s a bad thing?”

“no, but they remind me of the fact that he doesn't like me the same way i like him.”

fangs’ voice sounded raspy, and he shoots kevin a small smile. kevin’s face softens. “you can't be so sure.”

“oh, i know he doesn't like me.” fangs looks at kevin directly in the eye. “i’ve seen the way he looks at the stars. he never looks at me like that.”

he hears kevin’s breath hitch. shit, did he just say that? damn it, he fucked up. it slipped out of his mouth, and all fangs wants to do at the moment is to disappear. he wants to sink into the duvet and never resurface. he looks away from embarrassment.

but kevin’s lips twitches into a smirk and asks, “how does he look at the stars?”

fangs couldn't tell whether kevin doesn't know he was talking about him or if kevin knew what was going on. either way, he’s got to answer his question. he takes a moment to think of what to say.

“he looks at them as if they're the greatest thing ever,” fangs sighs. “they catch his full attention, and they make him so… happy. he looks at them with that loving look in his eyes, and i _wish_ that he could look at me like that. he talks about them with such interest and meaning that, hell, i get _envious_ whenever he speaks of them.” he pauses. “it isn't fair, in my opinion.”

“and how do you look at him?”

fangs bites the inside of his lip before letting go. “i look at him in the same way he looks at the stars.”

kevin moves closer to him. the bed groans as he does so, and fangs could feel his heartbeat quicken. “it’s me, isn't it?” kevin whispers. fangs says nothing, answering his question. “hey, look at me. you have nothing to be afraid of.”

“no,” fangs says. god, he feels vulnerable, and he is not used to the feeling of being vulnerable.

“fangs, please.”

he hesitantly turns his body and lies on his side as well. he takes a stuttering deep breath when he sees kevin’s face close to his. “if you want me to leave, i will,” fangs mutters.

he expects kevin to tell him to leave, but he does something fangs would have never expected: he inches closer and cups his face, staring at him intently. fangs blushes deeply and he gulps, feeling his ears heat up. he tries to calm his breathing down as his heart hammers against his chest, hearing his heartbeat thump in his ears. “i don't want you to leave,” kevin says quietly.

then kevin pulls him into a kiss.

when fangs closes his eyes, he doesn't see the fireworks people say they witness. the fanfare of trumpets doesn't play, nor did time slow down. it was a strange sensation, but _fuck_ , kevin’s lips are soft and gentle against his. fangs slides his hand on to kevin’s waist and sighs contently into the kiss, tilting his head. the silence around them continues to drag on as his mind then catches the fact that _holy shit, kevin's kissing him._

fangs may have not experienced the the marvelous explosion of feelings many people say they experience, but one thing that's for certain is that he just couldn't get enough of him.

they pull away, breathing heavily. the kiss itself wasn't long at all, but they both feel like it lasted forever. fangs keeps his eyes closed, relishing the moment as kevin keeps his hand on his cheek. his head is still trying to process what just happened, his mind is hazy. he could feel kevin’s hot breath puff on his lips, and he slowly opens his eyes.

he stares at kevin, who still has his eyes closed, but there’s a smile tugging on his lips. he soaks in the details on his face, such as the light freckles across his nose and the slight curl in his hair. kevin moves his hand down to fangs’ neck and sighs through his nose, caressing his cheek with his thumb. kevin tangles their legs together as the two unconsciously shift closer towards each other.

“is this too much?” kevin asks, opening his eyes and looking down on their legs.

fangs shakes his head, blinking. “no,” he manages to say. “not at all.”

“good.” kevin shuffles on the spot, making himself comfortable. “i don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

fangs wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what. the only thing that fills the air between them is the sound of their breathing, and it’s rather calming, to say the least. he keeps his mouth shut, not wanting to ruin the serenity of the moment, and lets the scene unfold itself.

“i’ve been wanting to do that for a while now,” kevin mutters, his voice raspy.

fangs blinks in confusion and surprise. “really?”

“yeah.” a beat. “i was hoping that you’d make the first move though.”

fangs lets out a quiet chuckle. “i’m not really that type of person.”

“i suspected that.”

they both smile at each other and gazes into each other’s eyes for a long second. fangs’ smile slowly dropped. “don’t tell me you did and said all of that because i told you that i like you,” fangs says, sounding unsure. “because that’s just cruel, keller.”

the edge of kevin’s lips twitches into a frown. “no, of course not,” he says sincerely. he sighs and slides his hand to fangs’ upper arm. “i’m not lying to you, fangs. we may have been talking for only a few months, but i’d never do something to hurt you.”

“then why do it now?” fangs questions. “of all the time we spent together on the road trip, why do it now? how do i know if you're not lying?”

“you're clueless, you know?” kevin teases. “you said that i never looked at you in the same way you look at me. that's false. i look away before you could catch me staring at you, like how you'd look away before i catch you staring at me. it’s how the world works.”

that is a good point. fangs’ furrows his eyebrows at kevin. he feels kevin’s thumb move back and forth across his bicep, as if he’s reassuring him. he then releases the breath he didn’t even know he was holding and closes his eyes. “oh… that makes sense,” he mumbles, not knowing what to say. a pause lingers in the air. “i never thought of out that way.”

“it's not really the first thought that pops in people's minds when it comes to these type of things.”

fangs sighs. “sorry. i guess i’m just not used to this feeling.”

“i can get get off if you want.”

“no. please don't,” he says, almost too quickly. “just… hold me, i guess.”

kevin lips quirks up as he hears him say it. he murmurs for fangs to face the other side, and they untangle their legs as he does so. kevin's arms slithers around his waist and sighs softly on against his neck, pushing a leg between his. fangs swallows thickly, and he tries to calm his quick heartbeat.

if this is a dream, then he doesn't want wake up. he wants to pinch himself, to make sure that this is real, but he’s afraid that kevin would get off of him if he makes one wrong move. so he stayed still. kevin's pulse thrums faintly on fangs’ back, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest. his nose is buried in the crook of his neck, giving fangs goosebumps with every breath he takes.

god, he doesn't want for this to end. he finally understands how kevin felt when they were stargazing during the night.

“you alright?” kevin asks quietly. “your heart's beating really quickly.”

“well, it's not everyday you cuddle with the guy you've been longing for,” fangs replies, stammering a little. “i’m good, though.”

“you sure?”

fangs couldn't help but smile at his concern. “positive.”

a kiss is pressed on the back of his head, and his face heats up once more. “if you say so.”

they finally fall into calming silence. fangs soaks in the warmth and the comfort of kevin’s arms, his breathing tickling his neck. it sends chills down his spine, but in a good way. he wants to shift get on the spot to calm himself down, but he doesn't want to break their comfortable little position. he wants this feeling to last for as long as he could. it feels good; reality is better than how fangs imagines it in his head.

he still couldn't believe that this was happening. this is pretty much a dream come true. fangs has longed for a moment like this ever since he saw kevin when the southside and the northside merged together. it didn't go as he expected it to go, but fangs isn't complaining. maybe it was a coincidence, maybe it was just luck.

or maybe the stars has aligned to create this exact moment.

now that fangs thinks about it, the reason why they are here right now is because of the stars. he recalls the memories of the road trip and their conversation earlier. the highlight of their trip was the stars they saw in the end, and they were just talking about the stars before this entire thing happened.

funny how he hated the stars when they were the ones who got them together in the first place.

kevin snores lightly behind him, startling fangs out of his thoughts. tentatively, he huddles closer to kevin, who exhales softly in response. other than that, he doesn't stir awake. he moves his elbow to fangs’ side, wrapping his arms around his chest and pulling him close. _is he always like this?_ he wonders.

kevin snores again, and he suppresses a giggle. it's so easy to get so… cozy with someone. it’s an unusual feeling for fangs, considering the fact that he only has, like, two friends who means the world to him. maybe he's just surprised at the sudden affection, he isn't sure. but if kevin’s going to keep doing this, he truly doesn't mind at all.

fangs could feel his eyelids growing heavy. it's getting harder to keep them open by the second. yawning, he casts a tired side glance at the glow-in-the-dark stars on kevin's ceiling. they stare back at him with its plastic shine. for once, he doesn't find them ridiculous. he finds them charming. innocent. still childish, though. but they're just there, wrapping kevin’s room with a sense of security; they're close to his heart. fangs is happy to know his little, personal secret. it’s a conversation he'll never forget.

he closes his eyes and sighs tiredly. when he wakes up in the morning, he hopes, no, he _knows_ that kevin will still be there behind him. this isn't a sick joke he’s playing. this is genuine. kevin wouldn't do this to anyone. he appreciates this blissful moment before he finally drifts off to sleep.

that night, he dreams of the stars that occupies the onyx night sky whilst lying in an open field with nothing around him. loneliness doesn't accompany him. instead, a certain figure takes its place, laying on his chest as they both look up.

both are content.

 


End file.
